Ready, Set, GO.........

Well, in less than 24 hours I will be holding my sweet little boy in my arms.  It is really hard to believe that over 9 months has passed by already! The end of this pregnancy hasn't been any easier than all of the rest of it except for the fact that I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Everyone has been asking me if I am ready or if I am scared.  The answer to that is "Is anyone ever really ready?"  I feel like I am as ready as I could be.  I've read books, I've asked a million questions of family and friends, I've acquired all of the needed supplies and put together all of the equipment.  In that aspect, I am ready.  In terms of being ready when I walk out the door of the hospital this weekend, I have no idea, but am I scared?  No.  If I were having a natural delivery, I think yes I would be terrified of the unknown.  Having a scheduled C-Section is so comforting to me.  I am a planner.  I know exactly when it is going to happen and what they are going to do.  I survived a bowel resection surgery 3 years ago so I feel confident about getting through the recovery period.  What I'm scared of are things that I won't have the answers to for years to come.  I am scared of passing on some of my health problems to this baby.  Crohn's disease is something I would never wish on anyone!  I'm scared that I won't do a good job of teaching him to be a gentleman,  to treat women the right way, an being a contributing member of society.  All of the things that scare me about having a baby are so far down the line.  The things that will happen tomorrow and the following weeks, I have never felt more confident.  Clayton in 15 years scares the hell out of me!


So before I walk into that hospital at 5:30 am tomorrow... here is my final pregnancy update.  Baby updates to follow!

How far along: 39 weeks and some change

Size of our baby: Your guess is as good as mine.  He was estimated to be somewhere between 8 and 9 lbs at birth so we will find out tomorrow!  Either way, I think we have by passed newborn size clothing and diapers.  Stash those away for the next baby :)

Total weight gain:  All in all, I didn't really gain more weight than I think I should have (despite my love of night time desserts).  I don't think anyone will ever say they are happy with their pregnancy weight but I think I topped out at a good well rounded number that is a good starting point for post-baby weight LOSS!!

Maternity clothes:  At this point, even my maternity clothes are too small.  I stick mostly to sundresses, yoga pants, and tank tops.

Stretch marks: ONLY ONE!!! and it's not even noticeable to anyone but me!

Sleep:  Sleep comes in one hour increments.  If I could find a position that is comfortable, then I wouldn't wake up as often and I wouldn't have to pee as often.  Viscous cycle.  I've been waking up for good around 4:30-5 am every day.  I guess this baby is getting me ready for my 5 am check in at the hospital tomorrow!

Best moment this week:  Kyle showing up on the front porch home from Kuwait to surprise me!!!

Movement: There is no stopping this kid!  He hasn't slowed his movements down one bit!  In fact, he is moving WAY more than he has in the past several weeks.  ALLL DAY AND ALLLL NIGHT!

Food cravings/aversions:  I've never really had pregnancy cravings this whole pregnancy.  Okay fine, there was a week around Thanksgiving that I ate a "Gobbler" from Wawa every single day and I typically have pizza several times a week... and dessert of some kind every single night.  But even with that list of favorites, I never craved anything specific until someone mentioned the food item.  Then it was an over powering need to eat that food!  Yesterday I could have cared less what we ate for dinner.  Kyle said Chicho's pizza then changed his mind to Greek food.  Greek food would have been totally fine had he not muttered the secret word "pizza" first! 

 
Belly button in or out: Belly button is in!!

What I miss/What I am looking forward to: Miss: I miss days with out pain somewhere in my body and I miss sleep.  Looking forward to: Having my family all together in one room tomorrow :-)

Weekly Wisdom: I will forever stand by the fact that I do not like being pregnant.  There are certainly a few things that I will miss.  I will miss feeling my baby move around in my belly.  I will miss the awesome afternoon naps from the first trimester.  I will miss not feeling guilty about what I eat.  I will not miss all of the rest.  I will most definitely go through all of this again for a 2nd baby.  Pregnancy has not been THAT BAD!  It hasn't been miserable.  It's just not something that I love.  There are days and weeks that are miserable but on the whole, it's a means to a pretty amazing end. 

Best day of my life.... so far :)

At about 17 weeks, Kyle left on a 6 month deployment to Kuwait.  We planned on getting pregnant before he left and we knew all along that there stood a pretty good chance that he wouldn't be home for the birth.  As bad as I wanted to be a mom, that was something I was willing to chance.  I knew the whole time that having a baby with out him would be one of the hardest things that I've ever done.  But I also knew that I am strong enough to get through that and I have awesome support from friends and family to help me.  That doesn't change the fact that I wanted him here more than anything in the world.  In the beginning, we thought there was no chance of him coming home.  He put in for leave anyway just in case.  He told me that he would only have about 24-48 hours notice on his leave being approved.  This week I found out about two different guys being sent home from Kuwait.  I figured that if his leave had been approved, he would have been on one of those flights.  Little did I know, my husband is the best secret keeper alive.  For the past 3 weeks, he and most of our Coast Guard friends have been keeping the most amazing secret ever!  Kyle was coming home! 

On Monday night I was a little annoyed that Kyle "forgot to call me"...or so I thought.  Turns out, he was on a plane.  I had no idea that he was coming home until about 8:30 am.  I got a text message from his phone which made me curious as to why his phone was reactivated. Even then, I didn't put too much faith into it.  I called him back and didn't reach him.  I figured maybe the deactivation period on his phone had expired or something.   It had started to rain so my plans of getting the car washed got ruined.  Good thing too because about 10:30 am the dog started barking at the door.  Come to find out, Kyle was standing on the front porch!!!  I immediately started crying and gave him the biggest hug of my life!  I am pretty sure he followed that up with something along the lines of "wow that thing looks bigger in person"  Totally Kyle... Love him! 

I knew that I would be okay having this baby with out Kyle here.  We had a plan in place for how he would see the baby and where we would stay to get the most help.  Now we just altered the plans.  I feel great about having this baby and I feel like everything is exactly the way it should be now.  My family is in one piece <3

Missing my baby daddy

When I got pregnant and people found out that Kyle was deploying the first thing people said was "wow that's bad timing!"  I would then reply with, "actually it was planned that way on purpose."  I even had someone go so far as to say "That's the biggest mistake of your life!"  (wow it seems like all of my posts are about the ridiculous things that people have said to me...this one turns around keep reading)
Kyle and I had a plan to get pregnant before he deployed for several reasons.  One being the timing financially (deployment pay is one of the perks), the timing as far as me being off work for the summer and the biggest reason being my mom's retirement (She is our full time day care..woo hoo!!!) So while I might not have known what to expect by being pregnant with out my husband home, the plan really couldn't have worked out any better for us.
Through this pregnancy, I've come up with quite a few reasons why it is a good thing to be pregnant while your husband is deployed.  Here goes...

• I can only sleep comfortably by taking up the whole bed. If he were home, we would be sleeping in separate rooms by now.
• I typically get hungry for dinner about 4pm.  KP wouldn't even be home from work for another 3-4 hours.  There would be a constant struggle over dinner times.
• I like to eat strange things for dinner while pregnant.  Kyle likes a main dish and coordinating side dishes.  I haven't made a meal like that since the day I got pregnant.
• I have been able to decorate and organize the entire nursery with very little approval needed from the hubby AND he has still loved everything I have done so far. 
• No one questions the number of times I've been to Target to "stock up on diapers"  (Come on people, we all know no one goes to Target JUST for diapers!)
• Kyle hates blood and guts but my mom is oddly really excited about watching my C-Section.  Win for Kyle!  (Don't even try to tell me "Oh, it's different when it's your own kid.  You don't care about the blood and guts."  Trust me... he would still care.  He can't watch Grey's anatomy with out wanting to puke)
• When you are forced to communicate through a daily email or gchat conversation, there really isn't room for the surge of emotions and mood swings that come with pregnancy.  I firmly believe that this type of communication keeps those mood swings at bay.  If there's no one here to be moody for, being moody is pointless!  For the most part, I've been a happy camper :)

So, while there are a million reasons that I would be happy to have Kyle here while being pregnant, there's also a lengthy list of reasons that this is NOT the biggest mistake of my life.  As a matter of fact, Clayton and Kyle both are the best things to happen to my life.  We just can't wait to have our family all together! Until then, power of positive thinking :)

33 weeks baby update

How far along: 33 weeks

Size of our baby:  Clayton is now over 4 pounds and roughly the size of a pineapple

Total weight gain/loss:  Total gain: I am now up to an extra 34 pounds.  Eeek... a little more than I was hoping considering there's still over a month to go.  BUT, I really don't care.  I am healthy and my baby is healthy, I will deal with the weight gain later!

Maternity clothes: Dresses are the most comfortable thing I own right now.  I am wishing that I wasn't so pasty white and looked better in them but that is okay.  I am outgrowing a lot of the pants/capris that I have been wearing most of the pregnancy and a few of my maternity t-shirts are starting to get too short.  

Stretch marks: None so far! Woo Hoo!!

Sleep:  Sleep is hit or miss.  If I take afternoon naps, I can't sleep at night so usually I just try to go to bed early instead.  Occasionally I am tired enough to sleep through the whole night but most nights I am up several times to pee.  

Best moment this week:  My birthday last week was pretty awesome and my prenatal massage was great too.  However, I have to say that the highlight of the week was finally getting through the mile high piles of things to do on my desk at work.  I am now feeling like I am finally organized enough that I could leave at any time and someone could pick up where I left off!

Movement: Tons of movement!  Clayton is head down with his feet hanging out in my ribs all day.  The first couple of movements each day are a great reminder that he is alive and well.  After that, he needs a little nudge to get out of my lungs so I can breath!  Fortunately, he still understands that his Mama likes to sleep at night and saves all his movements for the daytime.....which is NON STOP :-)

Food cravings/aversions:  Still love pizza and sweets more than anything!  Fast food breakfast could suck me in real quick but I don't wake up in time to get it (fortunately) 
Belly button in or out: Belly button is in but is getting really flat.  I would still be surprised if it ever pops all the way out.

What I miss/What I am looking forward to: Miss: Wine, my much larger non-maternity wardrobe, my husband.  Looking forward to: 5 weeks left of work! Weekends now free of travel so I can finish up the last of the things on my to-do list, my niece being born in a few short weeks...or days :-)

Weekly Wisdom: You have to find a way to laugh at all of the rude things that people say.  Most of the time, these people have never been pregnant or they are so far removed from pregnancy that they don't realize how rude they are.  The ones who might know they are being rude are just idiots and we should laugh at them anyway! 

Milestones: 5 weeks of work and 6 weeks until baby!  C-Section scheduled for June 8th!

Symptoms:  I pee 500 times a day... that's my main complaint.  Most other things are gone or sporadic.  

Super sniffer

Funny, yet semi gross thing happened yesterday....  Let me preface this with the fact that I have always had a keen sense of smell even before I was pregnant.  However, now that I am pregnant, it has become my super power.  I know this happens to most pregnant people but I am telling you my olfactory system is in over drive beyond belief.  I could seriously save some lived with this thing.  For instance, Kyle once opened a bottle of wine across the house and I could smell it (okay, that's not life saving but it just smelled wonderful).  In church I will smell perfume on people and be able to warn my mom LONG before it affects her horrible allergies and she gets really sick.  I can identify what's for dinner at my grandfather's retirement home before walking in the front door.  It's pretty handy most of the time.
Now for the funny, yet semi gross situation yesterday.  Kyle got me a gift card for a prenatal massage.  I went yesterday and overall the massage was awesome!  The only issue was that I could tell that my massage therapist had eaten something with garlic...AND I could tell that she had done so with only her right hand!  It was totally garlic knots and I knew it.  So I was striking up conversation to prove it!  I said something along the lines of "I should have known better than to book a massage at 4:30, it's right in the middle of my normal dinner time and now I am starving.  I will have to get food on my way home."  She said, "I just ate right before my shift started.  There is this great pizza place up the street and they have the best garlic knots!"  I KNEW IT!!
Fortunately, I love garlic AND I watched her wash her hands so I was totally grossed out by it but it definitely made for an interesting massage.

People say the darndest...

When I first found out that I was pregnant, I was warned of the funny (and by funny I mean RUDE) things that people will say to you once you start showing.  I started showing earlier than most people I know so of course I got my fair share of comments at that time...."Are you sure there is just one?", "Holy cow, looks like someone is having twins!", "Exactly HOW far along are you?!"   I pretty much expected those.  However, now that I am at 33 weeks and noticeably growing larger by the minute, the comments are becoming much more entertaining.  If you have never been pregnant before, my advice is to laugh and find the humor in all of these things.  People are ridiculous that is for sure.  Here's a few of my favorites from this week...
"WOW!!!  I can see that pregnancy really causes you to gain weight.  The good news is that it will all come off eventually...SOMEHOW"
"I can see that you suffer from the same problem I had when I was pregnant...your legs and feet swell to enormous sizes" (Prior to this one I was just thinking WOW, I haven't felt swollen at all today)
"That belly sure has exploded over night!"

Pregnancy is just sooooo beautiful!

"Pregnancy is beautiful."  I probably get that from 4 out of 5 people that talk about pregnancy/babies/my ever growing belly/etc. Pregnancy is beautiful ....YEAH RIGHT! 

****Disclaimer*****  If are not pregnant and plan to get pregnant anytime, please understand that pregnancy is different for all people and do not let my rant deter you from being excited about pregnancy.  I am SUPER excited about the end result!!  However...

It is no real secret that I am not a huge fan of being pregnant.  I don't hate it.  There have been very few MISERABLE days through out this entire pregnancy.  I just don't love it, nor will you ever catch me saying "Pregnancy is beautiful."  I'm sure that many of you will disagree.  A million of you will tell me "You will forget all about these things once the baby is here."  Well I think that is a bunch of craziness!  I will love the hell out of my baby and I will be so excited to he is here.  I can see forgetting all the pain that I went through to deliver him (I think that is because much of that time is drug induced forgetfulness) and I will no doubt want another child regardless of what I go through during this pregnancy. Forget about 9 months of crazy things happening to my body, lack of sleep and the endless list of unpredictable pregnancy symptoms....doubtful. 

Despite the fact that I am not a lover of pregnancy, I do believe in seeing the positive side to every situation.  So here is my running list of positives when it comes to pregnancy....

• Good hair
• Finger nails that grow faster than the weeds on my back porch
• Really great afternoon naps
• Although most of the time I am pretty independent, if I don't feel like lifting, carrying or moving something, there is always someone else to do it.
• Washing baby clothes is a new favorite hobby
• Strapless bras no longer slide down because my belly keeps them from sliding anywhere.
• Since I am going to have to worry about losing weight later anyway, I've made the decision to literally eat whatever I want (with in moderation) and worry about the weight loss later.  The "Whatever you want" diet has made for a much happier pregnancy and surprisingly so far hasn't been too terrible on the weight gain.
• Not caring for a second as the bathroom scale increases at an unusual rate.
• It was previously impossible to have blood work done but while pregnant I seem to have the best veins on the planet!
• No crohn's disease symptoms woo hoo!
• Sitting in the rocking chair in the nursery day dreaming about my little boy while he does kick flips in my belly.
• People always give you shotgun when you are pregnant. 
• Ultrasounds of my boy

I think that's it for now.  When you make a list of the positives, it always makes the negatives look like no big deal.  I am working on staying positive. It will be a lot easier in 60 days when I have that little boy in my hands! :-)